The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.Oscar Wilde
UTIs are extremely common, especially amongst younger women who have only just become to be “sexually active”.
Although they can be extremely painful: Don’t panic. A short dose of antibiotics from your regular GP will set things right again. Don’t have sex during the antibiotic treatment.
To avoid urinary tract infections in the future, this is what you need to do:
- Always take a pee immediately after heterosexual sex.
- Drink less alcohol and caffeine. And more water.
- Use more lube.
- Ask your partner to wash underneath his foreskin prior to heterosexual sex.
- Ask your partner to wash their hands with soap and cut their nails prior to manual stimulation of the clitoris.
- Never mix anal play with vaginal play
- You don’t need to wash your vagina with anything other than water. No soap or disinfectant. Your vagina is “self cleaning”.
The urethera is located just below external portion of the clitoris. When stimulating the clitoris it is important not to irritate the urethera. Every woman has a slightly different vagina, so you need to first experiment on yourself, then explain to your partner how you prefer to be touched.
Oxytocin is a hormone which plays a key role in child birth and breast feeding. It is released in large quantities during female orgasm. It is basically the “opposite” of Adrenaline. But for some reason it does not get nearly as much attention.
When I was a child I suffered “chronic tonsilitis”. I never got my tonsils cut out, because there is evidence to suggest that this only leads to “chronic lung infections” which is actually much more serious.
The trigger for me was always a lack of adequate sleep. Together with some kind of “emotional over-excitement”. This could just as easily be a positive “emotional event” as a negative one. If something really great happened in my life that was super exciting, like clockwork – I would get tonsilitis.
With tonsilitis, the bacteria live permanently in your tonsils. But it is only when your “immune system” is lowered that they actually start to multiply and cause an infection.
What causes your immune system to be lowered is basically the hormone “adrenaline”. This is associated with the “fight or flight” response.
Basically, your immune system is considered to be a “non-esssential service” during an emergency. Same with your digestive system, which is why you can get stomach problems if you are permanently stressed.
There is a very simple cure for this: If your adrenaline levels are too high – then take some oxytocin. Or masturbate yourself to orgasm.
Oxytocin is also the “key ingredient” in medieval “love potions”. The witches have always known how it works.
I have no idea why Oxytocin is not routinely prescribed by doctors to patients presenting with the symptoms of long-term excessive stress. Probably because it is considered to be a “female” hormone.
During childbirth, if you are having having painful contractions, despite the cervix not being fully dialated. Then take a small “hit” of adrenaline. This will stop the contractions.
The next step is to take some Relaxin . Possibly injected directly into the cervix. Or rub it on as a cream. This will speed up the dialation of the cervix.
Once the cervix is fully dialated, take some Oxytocin to “restart” the contractions. Simples.
I don’t know why this is not “standard practice” in all hospitals. Probably because the doctors are all men. And they don’t seem to care about women’s pain.
I can’t even find a YouTube video that properly explains the process of cervical dialation. But there are some more serious articles in medical journals which discuss the role of the horme Relaxin in the process of cervical dialation.
If you stick your fingers deep into your vagina then you can actually feel the cervix. It is short and hard and cylindrical. And very sensitive. You don’t actually want your partner’s dick pounding hard on your cervix. That can be painful.
Women over 25 years old should get a pap smear every 2 years. This is provided free by the Victorian government to protect against cervical cancer.
Abortion in Australia is 100% legal. You are not required to give any “reason” why you wish to have an abortion. Nevertheless, the most common reasons cited are the following:
- Emotional immaturity (the mother is very young)
- Lack of healthy relationship with the father
- Lack of financial resources
- Desire to continue education and / or have a professional career
At the same time, you can never be “forced” into an abortion. Not by the father, your parents, or the government. The four main alternatives to abortion are:
- Marrying the father
- Moving back in with your parents
- Going on the “single mother’s pension”
- Giving the child up for adoption
This is obviously a very difficult decision to make. But at the end of the day, it is a decision that is entirely yours.
There are surprisingly few resources for women who have been victims of domestic violence (ant marital rape). The best place to escape to is still your best friend’s couch.
Australia actually has quite good social welfare compared to other countries. If you have children, then you can apply for the single mother’s pension at centerlink.
This is always a painful process, so you need to sort out your housing and finances before you even begin. Step one is to make new friends outside the Muslim community. There are good people in Melbourne who can help you. Just regular normal people. Stay away from the “multicultural” stuff. These people will hand you straight back to your abusers.
If you are religious then there are several resources available.
The Melbourne Jewish Community is very small. So if your abuser or his friends happen to sit on the board of one of these organizations, or be a major donor. Then you are basically screwed.
Maybe this is your sign from G-d that you need to move to Israel.
Both Tel-Aviv and Haifa are “sexually liberated” cities. You can be lesbian or gay or live with an unmarried partner and nobody will even blink an eye.
I will probably get a lot of shit for this. But my basic advice is: DO NOT DO IT.
There are two different court systems in Australia: Criminal Law and Civil Law.
For a “criminal trial” you need to prove “beyond reasonable doubt” that a crime took place. In the case of rape, this means either an eye-witness, or a semen sample. It is unlikely that you have either of these.
Even if you do, the defense will try to argue that you consented to the act. This can be deeply humiliating in front of a room of 20-30 people.
A person found guilty of a criminal offense will go to jail.
In a “civil case” you only need to prove that the injustice occured “in the balance of probabilities” which means “more likely than not”.
Evidence admissable in a civil case includes: Proof that you were “alone in a seculed location” with the abuser on one or more occasions. Testimonies from friends and family about a “change in behaviour” after the event.
Changes in eating or sleeping. Depression and anxiety. Fear or specific people or locations. Moodiness and inexplicable outbursts of anger. Written reports and testimonials from professional psychologists and psychiatrists who have seen you will help a lot.
In a civil case you can claim “damages”. If your abuser is found guilty in a civil court, then he must pay you monetary compensation for your suffering. (Lost wages and therapy bills). But he will not go to jail.
You can also apply to victims of crime for financial compensation, without going through the full criminal prosecution process. (which is painful)
In many cases your friends and family will not know how to respond appropriatetly to a disclosure of sexual abuse. They may get angry or defensive, deny that it happened, or even blame you.
For this reason you need to speak to a professional therapist who is professionally trained at dealing with issues of social shame and stigma. There is a lot of infomation about this available online. Especially youtube.